10th April 2012, 21:34
Rider of Pigs
Why is My Girlfriend So Mean?
I've talked about relationships quite a bit on this forum but the one I'm in now is pretty...confusing. So my girlfriend is pretty mean to me. By that I mean she teases me, punches me, and is way nicer to everyone else but me. Every chance she gets she calls me weak, stupid, etc; and I'm sick of it. She always does this too, it's not just when we're around friends or family, it's ALL THE TIME. She is nice sometimes (like once in a blue moon) and those times I realize why I love her but that's very rare. She also beats on me a lot. Not serious beating but she does punch me and slap me in my face and on my arms and never apologizes unless she seriously hurts me. And about her being nice to everyone else, she always treats her friends significantly better than me. Today her friend came back to school after being gone for a day and she jumped up and hugged him and he spun her around...when I was gone for 2 weeks the most I got was a casual "Oh hey." and a small hug. I've done a few things like attempted giving her the silent treatment but she takes it as a joke and I have confronted her about it and she just said "Oh you know I'm joking!" but she just keeps doing it.
I really have no clue what to do. I don't want to break up with her because I really do care about her and, to be horribly honest, she's the only girl at my school who I don't hate and who likes me in any way besides being a friend. I'm also pretty bad at confrontation and being serious but if it's really the only possible way I can handle this then I guess I could. Please don't just say "LOL GROW SOME BALLS!" because that's really just no help. Thanks for any help.
Oh i also forgot to add that she hides things from me quite a bit. Like at one point she was flipping through pictures on her camera while I watched and she got to one picture and she turned the camera away and laughed with her friend then wouldn't tell me what it was (later I found out it was her sharing a cookie with someone but still) also when she's looking through pictures on her phone and I look at them she'll get to certain pictures and turn the phone away. It makes me really suspicious of her...
And, final thing, a few days back she mentioned that she was talking to her friend about how I "never do anything for myself" after I asked her if she could pull my sleeve up after it fell down because I was holding her hand and couldn't reach. That just kind of shocked me since now I know she complains about me to her friends...
Last edited by TheFlyingPig; 10th April 2012 at 22:22.
10th April 2012, 21:36
Sounds like she is trying to provoke a reaction from you, maybe time to take charge? :P
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10th April 2012, 21:37
YoGTarD (Perma Banned)
Hit her back bro.
Ok now for the serious answer. You should confront her about this. Tell her you don't like the way she is treating you and that you don't like being pushed around. Us girls like being in control and can get carried away sometimes so it's best you confront her. Confronting your partner will also solve a lot of things.
I'm pretty **** with advice but I hope I helped in some way...
10th April 2012, 21:39
Things like this.. I think require a serious heart to heart conversation..
If you are willing to have this heart to heart you also need to make sure no interruptions will happen. Phones off. No one to talk to but her. She has no one to talk to but you.
If you happen to do this and she continues this negative attitude I really think she is not meant for you.
Another thing is maybe she may be confused?? Is there actions you do towards her that could confuse her into provoking her actions?
Love Hurts sometimes.. But Love is a strong word as well. Do you Love her?
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10th April 2012, 21:44
To be honest, I would say that this really does sound like a relationship that you may be better of getting out of. If everything she does continues like this you may just end up locked to the relationship and not having a real way out later on.
Other than that, there are two things I may thing about it. The first one is that she may want you to take charge a bit more and is doing this by treating you this way. She may be hoping that you may realize this soon and start with it but I don't believe she realized this isn't the best way to get it out of you if it's her plan.
The other thing may be that something is going on in her personal life that you may not know of. If there is she may be taking things out on you without really thinking about it and you're the one that gets affected because you're always there for her.
Best way is to try and talk to her to see if there's anything bothering her or something and tell her how you have been feeling.
Well, this is just my honest opinion and how I see things from the things that you've written in the post.
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10th April 2012, 21:49
Anyway. Do you love her? If you do, you'll have this "heart to heart" conversation with her. It won't be easy. It'll probably be the most terrifying thing you can think of but even though you say she doesn't treat you well... I think you both love eachother.
10th April 2012, 22:04
Rider of Pigs
Well if by "actions" you mean treating her badly then no. I do joke insult her sometimes but immediately apologize, say I was only joking, and hug her. I'm insanely nice to her all the time too, it's not like I'm outwardly mean to her in any way that I can think of. I also just kind of feel like I'm doing everything in our relationship and she just sits there. I need to pay for everything, arrange all the dates, buy her presents despite her never buying me anything, tell her I love her first, kiss her first, etc. Also another thing that confuses me is she never takes pictures with me...she does with everyone else but not with me :\ don't know what that's about...
Originally Posted by MissGabsarella
Well I do love her even though I haven't said it (but that's because every time I'm about to say it she does something to make me not want to say it) but there's no time to have a "heart to heart" conversation since we're in highschool so there's no real time to be alone. I guess I could go to her house but to be honest I think she'd just say "I'm only kidding!" like always. I REALLY don't want to break up with her since I do care about her. And I don't think I can get "stuck in my relationship" since we're only in highschool so I don't think I'll get married to her...
Originally Posted by 4deadguy
Last edited by TheFlyingPig; 10th April 2012 at 22:11.
10th April 2012, 22:06
Originally Posted by TheFlyingPig
Well then I think she'd need to be questioned if she's in the relationship for her benefit.. Or BOTH of your benefits.
10th April 2012, 22:33
ask yourself , do you benefit more from the relationship than being frustrated , stressed , ... does she makes you feel less worth as a person , ... ? It's a hard thing to ask yourself especialy if you're in love . Are those very rare pleasant moments that you say you have with eachother worth all the insulting etc ? Do you feel like she realy likes you ? ( I wont say love , love is a strong word - JaneDoe) . Maybe she feels like she can do whatever she wants with you and say whatever she wants because you dont actualy respond to it seriously ? ( im not saying you dont respond to it at all , but she can laugh it away ) .
I think you should start talking with her about this , and as soon as she starts laughing it away , say that you want to seriously talk about this ( let her hear this in your voice , show her that you're sick of her treating you like this because she shouldnt ! )
if she still laughs it away , I think you can become a bit mad ... try to make it obvious that you are realy realy sick about it ! Tell her about the pictures , about her being much more friendly with other persons , all of it . maybe you should ask her why she does this ? ask her about this rare moments you have with eachother that you feel like everything is ok ... wheter she feels the same at those moments ?
Do you only see her at school ? I suggest you meet her at her place or somewhere you can be realy private , because that does change people . ( at least what I remember , friends around you change you )
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10th April 2012, 22:53
Stand your ground man, don't let her push you about. I'm not saying be mean, I'm saying go less for the cute adorable handbag boyfriend and more for the rough, masculine and ragged stallion that she can respect AND love. To have a healthy loving relationship, you gotta have respect for each other, and she sounds like she doesn't respect you pal. :/
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